Navigating Through Psychological Upheaval: From Prejudice to Tranquility
A 2004 University of New york study of “relatively happy, nondistressed couples” established that couples who practiced mindfulness saw notable improvements for their level of “relationship happiness”. Furthermore, they experienced improved and healthier amounts of “relationship stress, stress coping efficacy, and overall stress”. It is because mindfulness is really a conscious practice that fosters compassion for one’s self and then for others.
We’re human; conflicts are an inevitable section of life’s journey. In a relationships where two individual characters must compromise and collaborate together in constant proximity, it’s natural we won’t always see eye to eye with one another. Imagine this kind of instance, as soon as your stress or negative emotions are triggered by something your lover says and does (and by your ensuing reaction).
Anger is surely an immediate response and bitterness may be the path; These emotions call forth reactions rather than principled responses. So many regrettable thoughts and actions take place in such moments. I once did a chat in a bookstore and noted how the phrase “Sticks and stones may break your bones but words won’t hurt us” was inaccurate-thoughtless and cruel words may cause lasting damage, leaving emotional scars that fester long after bone fractures are already healed. There was clearly a songwriter from the audience named Sarah Malcom; she subsequently wrote music entitled: “Sticks and Stones May Break My Bones, But Words Can Break My Soul.”
As opposed to keeping this negativity, it is possible to consciously decide to behave differently. Let’s notice it together. Picture yourself because heated moment when you’re flooded with anger, resentment, and judgement. Imagine if you were able to feel and acknowledge those emotions without reacting destructively toward yourself maybe partner?
Do not forget that you don’t should be physically as well as verbally abusive to become violent. Even thoughts can be destructive, especially as they are inadvertently reflected in our attitudes and behaviors. For example, you will become withdrawn and important during an argument when you’re thinking toxic thoughts. The opposite person’s negativity feeds off yours, and the other way around, and before very long you’ve probably both said or done regrettable things.
Practice observing your brewing emotions and thoughts without getting caught up in them. And instead, why don’t you strike if the iron is cold? Let yourself cool down and funky off, and share your emotions and thoughts when you’re ready and so are capable of clarity and compassion.
You won’t be sorry.
“Prejudice of any type implies that you are identified with all the thinking mind.
This means you don’t understand the other man anymore, but only your own personal concept of that man. To cut back the aliveness of one other man to a concept is definitely a form of violence.” -Ekhart Tolle
PRACTICE
Suppose that you’re on a sailboat from the ocean, and navigating these waves may be the span of life. Regardless how you adjust the sails or gun the engine, you’ll inevitably be blown off track sometimes. Probably the most capable fishermen and sailors understand that sometimes the good thing it is possible to do-or the thing it is possible to do-is to merely ride your storm. Allow feelings blow through you and then pass. Ride out of the mental storm. It’s just a cascade of chemicals, you already know, determined by fear. I have listed waves that wash over you.
Haven’t you remarked that it’s much better to stay afloat whenever you relax your body rather than whenever you tense up and panic in the water?
Embrace the storms, then, on your journey. Don’t resist them, but don’t let yourself drown within their drama either. Remain grounded with your mantras:
Storms always pass. You don’t have to panic or fear.
Ride your storm. Feelings blow through me… feelings fly out of me…
Later Let me analyze the storm. Now I need only observe it. Now Let me hang on and pull through.
Later, you will have the clarity of mind to sit down and better analyze the storm, and to understand what caused it. You may also discover the lessons you learned by observing the storm: what feelings and resistance did you notice?
What helped you pull through? How could you make this transition easier in the foreseeable future?
Utilize the storm as a possible chance to gain innovative skills to temper your emotional upheavals. Most importantly, remember that storms are a section of life, but you possess the capacity to navigate your path through them. You are going to always go back to calm clear skies.
“Obstacles do not block the path; they are the path.” -Anonymous
Dr. Linda Miles is surely an author and psychotherapist. Her latest book is Alter your Story, Alter your Brain available through Amazon or her website www.drlindamiles.com
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