Navigating Through Psychological Upheaval: From Prejudice to Peacefulness
A 2004 University of New york study of “relatively happy, nondistressed couples” indicated that couples who practiced mindfulness saw notable improvements for their amount of “relationship happiness”. Moreover, they experienced improved and healthier levels of “relationship stress, stress coping efficacy, and overall stress”. This is because mindfulness is a conscious practice that fosters compassion for one’s self and then for others.
We’re human; conflicts are unfortunately a section of life’s journey. Within a anxiety where two individual characters must compromise and collaborate together in constant closeness, it’s natural that individuals won’t always see eye to eye together. Imagine this kind of instance, whenever your stress or negative emotions are triggered by something your spouse says and does (through your ensuing reaction).
Anger is definitely an immediate response and bitterness is the path; These emotions call forth reactions rather than principled responses. Countless regrettable thoughts and actions take place in such moments. I once did a talk in the bookstore and noted how the phrase “Sticks and stones may break bone tissues but words will not hurt us” was inaccurate-thoughtless and cruel words might cause lasting damage, leaving emotional scars that fester long after brittle bones have been healed. There is a songwriter in the audience named Sarah Malcom; she subsequently wrote music entitled: “Sticks and Stones May Break My Bones, But Words Can Break My Soul.”
As an alternative to holding this negativity, you are able to consciously opt to behave differently. Let’s visualize it together. Picture yourself in that heated moment when you are flooded with anger, resentment, and judgement. Imagine if you’re capable to feel and acknowledge those emotions without reacting destructively toward yourself or perhaps your partner?
Keep in mind that you don’t should be physically as well as verbally abusive to become violent. Even thoughts can be destructive, especially because they are inadvertently reflected in our attitudes and behaviors. For instance, you are going to become withdrawn and important within the argument when you’re thinking toxic thoughts. The other person’s negativity feeds off yours, and the other way round, and before you know it you’ve probably both said or done regrettable things.
Practice observing your brewing emotions and thoughts without getting caught up in them. And instead, why don’t you strike in the event the iron is cold? Allow yourself to cool down and cool off, and share your heartaches and thoughts when you are ready and are able to clarity and compassion.
You won’t be sorry.
“Prejudice of any kind implies that you are identified using the thinking mind.
It implies you don’t see the other man anymore, only your own personal concept of that man. To reduce the aliveness of one other man into a concept is a form of violence.” -Ekhart Tolle
PRACTICE
Suppose you are on a sailboat in the ocean, and navigating these waves is the span of life. Regardless of how well you adjust the sails or gun the engine, you’ll inevitably be blown off course sometimes. One of the most capable fishermen and sailors know that sometimes the good thing you are able to do-or one and only thing you are able to do-is to easily ride the storm. Let the feelings blow due to you after which pass. Ride out of the mental storm. It’s only a cascade of chemicals, you understand, based on fear. These are just waves that wash over you.
Haven’t you noticed that it’s better to stay afloat if you relax your body as opposed to if you tense up and panic in the water?
Embrace the storms, then, on your journey. Don’t resist them, but don’t allow yourself to drown inside their drama either. Remain grounded with one of these mantras:
Storms always pass. There’s no need to panic or fear.
Ride the storm. Feelings blow through me… feelings blow out of me…
Later I am going to analyze the storm. Now I would like only observe it. Now I am going to hang on and pull through.
Later, you’ve got the clarity of mind to take a seat and analyze the storm, and also to understand what caused it. You may also find the lessons you learned by observing the storm: what feelings and resistance did you notice?
What helped you pull through? How can you get this transition easier in the foreseeable future?
Use the storm as a possible possiblity to gain potentially profitable new skills to temper your emotional upheavals. First and foremost, keep in mind that storms can be a section of life, however, you possess the capacity to navigate your path through them. You will always resume calm clear skies.
“Obstacles do not block the trail; they are the path.” -Anonymous
Dr. Linda Miles is definitely an author and psychotherapist. Her latest book is Change Your Story, Change Your Brain available through Amazon or her website www.drlindamiles.com
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