Navigating Through Psychological Upheaval: From Prejudice to Peace
A 2004 University of New york study of “relatively happy, nondistressed couples” showed that couples who practiced mindfulness saw notable improvements to their amount of “relationship happiness”. Furthermore, they experienced improved and healthier amounts of “relationship stress, stress coping efficacy, and overall stress”. It is because mindfulness is often a conscious practice that fosters compassion for one’s self and for others.
We’re human; conflicts are an inevitable section of life’s journey. Within a spirituality where two individual characters must compromise and collaborate together in constant closeness, it’s natural that individuals won’t always see eye to eye with each other. Imagine this kind of instance, whenever your stress or negative emotions are triggered by something your partner says and does (by your ensuing reaction).
Anger can be an immediate response and bitterness could be the path; These emotions call forth reactions as opposed to principled responses. A lot of regrettable thoughts and actions occur in such moments. I remember when i did a talk inside a bookstore and noted that this phrase “Sticks and stones may break our bones but words will not hurt us” was inaccurate-thoughtless and cruel words might cause lasting damage, leaving emotional scars that fester long after bone fractures have been healed. There were a songwriter from the audience named Sarah Malcom; she subsequently wrote music entitled: “Sticks and Stones May Break My Bones, But Words Can Break My Soul.”
Instead of keeping this negativity, you can consciously opt to behave differently. Let’s look at it together. Picture yourself in this heated moment when you’re flooded with anger, resentment, and judgement. Imagine if you are able to feel and acknowledge those emotions without reacting destructively toward yourself or your partner?
Do not forget that you don’t must be physically as well as verbally abusive to get violent. Even thoughts could be destructive, especially since they’re inadvertently reflected inside our attitudes and behaviors. For example, you are going to become withdrawn and significant throughout an argument when you’re thinking toxic thoughts. The opposite person’s negativity feeds off yours, and the opposite way round, and before very long you’ve probably both said or done regrettable things.
Practice observing your brewing emotions and thoughts without getting distracted by them. And instead, why not strike when the iron is cold? Let yourself relax and cool off, and share your heartaches and thoughts when you’re ready and so are effective at clarity and compassion.
You won’t regret it.
“Prejudice regardless of the sort ensures that you are identified using the thinking mind.
This means you don’t see the other individual anymore, only your personal concept of that individual. To reduce the aliveness of some other individual to a concept is already a sort of violence.” -Ekhart Tolle
PRACTICE
Suppose happen to be on a sailboat from the ocean, and navigating these waves could be the length of life. It doesn’t matter how well you adjust the sails or gun the engine, you’ll inevitably be blown off track sometimes. Essentially the most capable fishermen and sailors understand that sometimes a very important thing you can do-or the thing you can do-is to only ride the storm. Allow the feelings blow through you then pass. Ride your mental storm. It’s only a cascade of chemicals, you know, depending on fear. These are just waves that wash over you.
Haven’t you pointed out that it’s quicker to stay afloat whenever you relax your body as opposed to whenever you tense up and panic in the water?
Embrace the storms, then, on the journey. Don’t resist them, but don’t let yourself drown of their drama either. Keep yourself grounded with these mantras:
Storms always pass. There is no need to panic or fear.
Ride the storm. Feelings blow through me… feelings fly out of me…
Later I’ll analyze the storm. Now I want only observe it. Now I’ll hold on tight and pull through.
Later, you’ve got the clarity of mind to take a seat and analyze the storm, and to know very well what caused it. You may also find the lessons you learned by observing the storm: what feelings and resistance have you notice?
What helped you pull through? How can you make this transition easier down the road?
Utilize the storm just as one possiblity to gain new skills to temper your emotional upheavals. First and foremost, do not forget that storms really are a section of life, but you have the capacity to navigate your way through them. You will always resume calm clear skies.
“Obstacles don’t block the trail; those are the path.” -Anonymous
Dr. Linda Miles can be an author and psychotherapist. Her latest book is Improve your Story, Improve your Brain available through Amazon or her website www.drlindamiles.com
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